Why the name "Team Raynes"??

I know people are probably wondering why we call ourselves Team Raynes. And yes, the logical answer is because it's our last name but it really goes deeper than that for us. You see, like Kylie & Parker (in case you didn't read my last blog, that's our eldest child and her husband), Jason and I got married young as well. We were both 19 years old and after dating for 2 years, we thought we were ready to be husband and wife and live happily ever after... NOT! We moved to Orlando, FL for the Navy and two months after we got married, I realized this is not a fairy tale story and I was not a princess and Jason was not the prince, I expected him to be.  Jason spent the majority of his time in a Navy Training Classroom to become a nuclear engineer which meant over 10 hours a day typically. Adding to that, I got pregnant two months into our marriage and had to be on bed rest for the majority of it.  And I soon found out that Jason wasn't the man I thought I knew. He was suppose to be the "nice" guy that I chose over my ex-boyfriend that was in and out of jail... yes, I know, I LOVED the bad boy once, but it didn't quite turn out that way.  We had a lot of issues... lots of broken trust.

Fast forward, 5 years later, we moved to Colchester, CT where I had contemplated not moving with him and possible divorce. At this point, I hated his guts and face beyond comprehension. Many thoughts of murder came to mind only to be waken up with the reality that jail would be the consequence of that and therefore Kylie would not have a mother and it would only be detrimental to all parties involved! I've always said to him, "I would never kill you because I would NEVER go to jail for you!" hahaha...Well, I would not recommend murder to anyone even if you can get away with it so please don't take what I said as condoning such sinful act. Back to the story, we decided to take up going to church because we needed to take Kylie (not because we are obviously a mess and I was insane...lol). On our first visit to the little church called Colchester Assembly of God (attendees = 30 people), we were greeted by many loving people and we thought, what a weird bunch... smiling and giving us, strangers, hugs... but whatever. They had a guest speaker from Teen Challenge preach and by the end of the sermon (which i don't even remember what the guy talked about), Jason and I had individually walked up to the altar and was crying out to God for help. The speaker prayed over us LOUDLY that there would be no divorce in this family. The lead Pastor, Rev. Charlie Brown :), apologize profusely to us for that "loud" prayer. We assured him that it was the perfect prayer and timing. I'd like to say that our marriage was fixed from there, but unfortunately, we didn't deal with a lot of the hurt and trust issues we had prior to Jesus. It only got worst from there. We hurt each other more and if it wasn't for the prayer of our then 7 year old Kylie, I don't think we'd still be married today. Jason and I believe it was her prayer that God answered and miracle took place. We started to seek Jesus individually to meet our needs, to heal all the hurt, and to help us to see each other the way He saw each of us. We prayed that He would continue to work in each of us so that we may become the man and woman that He created us to be. We asked Him to help us to stop looking out for only ourselves and to look out for each other like we belong to the same team. Our marriage is a team, our family is a team.  We had been in our marriage/family like it's a competition between the two of us rather than us being teammates. And so it began, we are Team Raynes and Jesus is our Head Coach! From that time on, all of our decisions are based on what God is saying to Team Raynes, not just to Jason or Frances individually but to all parties involve. So when you hear us talk about Team Raynes, it is not to boast about our family unit, it is to remind us that we are not living for our own selves but for each other and that we have a family because Jesus was loving, forgiving, merciful and gracious... He saved our family. Our family is His family and we must work as a team to glorify Him.

Team Raynes minus 1

My first blog... and what a time for me to start this. We are in a middle of some life changing transitions. As you may have read on our "About us" section, our oldest child (19 years old), Kylie, recently married a young man, she met while on a "no dating" 9 month internship out in Portland, OR. I have sooo many mixed emotions about this... not because we don't like the young man, Parker Fallon, she married but because it happened all so quickly. In less than 3 months after she came home from Portland, she was married. It started when she visited Parker in Santa Cruz, California in June, then he visited her in DC/MD for 4th of July,they became a couple in mid July, and it culminated with an engagement and a wedding in mid August. What a freakin' crazy summer we've had!?! 

Anyway, let me first start of by saying, I love my new son-in-law, Parker. He is a godly young man who loves Jesus first and our daughter second and we wouldn't have it any other way. It's just that we didn't expect all this to happen soooo soon!! We gave them godly counsel to wait along with logical and practical counsel but of course what do we know... hahaha!! We had two weeks to prepare for a wedding. Parker flew to Ohio on Monday, August 13, they were married on Thursday, August 16 and both flew back to Santa Cruz on Friday, August 17. What the heck just happened?? In those two weeks, I left my "mommy" body and became the most efficient and organized wedding coordinator ever. I planned a bachelorette party for her (even bought her lingerie for her honeymoon...what mother does that????) and organized the wedding ceremony. But before you think I'm super awesome, let me just say, I had a lot of help... from our closest friends, church family and my mother, who flew in from MD with my niece. But then on Saturday, August 18, I returned to my "mommy" body and realized my baby girl just got married and she's freakin' gone!! I suddenly felt this deep sense of loss. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me... I couldn't sleep nor eat (which never happens even when I have a toothache or flu). And emotionally, I would be great one moment, able to handle not hearing from her then suddenly a burst of angry emotion would surface because I have not gotten a response to my text that I sent her about 30 minutes ago. Oh did I mention, all my psychotic emotional outburst about this happened during their first week of marriage and honeymoon. Yes, I am one of those mothers that can't seem to give up control of her children and it's manifesting during my daughter's honeymoon! How crazy am I??? I am beyond thankful that Parker has been understanding of all this.

So where am I now... I'm doing better. Spent more time worshipping Jesus, asking Him to take this loony behavior away. He healed my broken heart and gave me a sense of peace and joy reminding me that He loves me and that I need to re-focus on Him. He assured me that Kylie is His and that He is in control of her life, her marriage and her future. He assured me that Parker loves Him and because of that, he loves our daughter very much and will do his best to lead her and their family. Don't get me wrong, I still miss her and at times have that sense of loss but at least now, I can eat again!! lol!

Welcome to our crazy family, Parker!