Two things on my heart lately...

Colossians 3:18 "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord."

Most people probably think this would be a scripture that I would never obey or at least loathe but surprisingly I try very hard to obey this. Coming from a family where the women has the "stronger" voice in the home, I struggled with this for most of my earlier marriage years (we've been married 20 yrs). I didn't want to lose "me" and my voice, my personality, and my control in my marriage. As I mentioned in my previous blogs, we had a rough marriage and it was due to selfishness on both of our parts. But as I draw nearer to Christ... as I learn and love my Lord and Savior more... and as I read His Word daily, my desire grows stronger to be a wife that submits to my husband. I want to be the kind of wife who encourages her husband in his relationship with Jesus. I want to be a wife that lets him lead our family in all decision matters. I want to show him respect everyday. I want to serve him. I want my daughters to grow up seeing how a wife treats her husband so that they will love their husband in such a way. I want them to see that my submission is not a sign of weakness but a godly love and confidence in knowing who I am in Christ and knowing my role in our marriage. I long for the day that I say less and less critical and hurtful words but more loving and gracious words. I'm far from being this kind of wife but this is my heart's desire. This is what I'm commanded to do and I want to be obedient to Christ and His Word always. I am blessed with a man that loves me as the scriptures commands him to, "Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly." Colossians 3:19. Thank you Jesus for blessing me with a godly man, husband and father to our children.  And with God's grace and help, I hope one day my love for my husband is so Christlike and beautiful that it will be the evidence that proves that I love my Jesus.

Psalm 127:3 "Children are a gift from the Lord..."

 

This past few months, my husband and I have been overwhelmed with a lot of good and bad memories as we watched our eldest daughter marry and leave our home to be with her husband. We remember fondly of our many roadtrips with her. We enjoyed many school and church activities with her. We reminisced about the many conversations that only consisted of movie quotes... well, not so much me, but her and her daddy. They were all great memories. But we also remembered all the things we didn't teach her that we should have so she would be well prepared to be a wife and one day, a mother. There were many regrets in the way we communicated with her... overbearing at times. She always knewed how much we loved her but we had expectations that paralyzed her in fear of failing them. We didn't provide her an environment that was safe for her to make mistakes and fail. We are brokenhearted about this. We needed to live our lives in the reality of the above scripture, Psalm 127:3. We should have not taken for granted the years she was with us and instead taught her diligently the Word of God by living it out in our lives.

 

We have two more children (Melina and Caleb, who are 8 and 3 yrs old respectively) that God has given us to raise. May we love and disciple them in the way that is pleasing to the Lord. As we teach and discipline them, may they see the love and grace of Christ and yet understand their need to obey the scripture of Colossians 3:20 "Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord." Thank you Jesus for second chances... We are are thankful for the humbling honor and privilege to raise our children in Your ways. Help me to be a loving mother with encouraging and gracious words but also in teaching them to grow into a godly young woman and man of God. Help me to prepare them to be a loving wife and husband one day and to be godly parents to their children. Thank you Jesus for the blessing of my children.

 

 

My hubby and my 3 children <3

So during this Thanksgiving season, what are you thankful for? Better yet, what does Jesus have His finger on that you are taking for granted of or not as thankful for as you should be? I pray that whatever it is, may He bring it to your mind and heart and may He begin to change your attitude towards it. Thank you again for stopping by and checking out what I have to say. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

 

 

 

Don't be scared...

For about a month now, I've come across the same scripture over and over again during my devotional, prayer time, "facebook" time, "pinterest" time, conversations, etc... as if God is preparing me for something. At first, I was like "oh cool, i just saw that or read that somewhere..." but then, the scripture just kept popping up everywhere and SERIOUSLY, I can't even count how many times the Lord has brought this scripture to me in the last month! They say when God says it to you once, take notice, twice... He is trying to get your attention but more than you can remember to count, He must mean business and you better pay attention and hold on to that WORD!! So what scripture is it? See below:

 

 

 

And then my spiritual mom sent this to me just this week:

"For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13

 

Needless to say, even though the scripture says "Do not fear... or do not be afraid...", NOW, I'm thinking all sorts of stuff that I wasn't thinking of... hahaha!! You see, we are about to "GO" on our next Jesus adventure... we are headed back to Maryland, our home state. It is where God had removed us from for most of our adult lives and there was a reason... we believe that it was to teach us many things. We needed to find out who Christ really is for ourselves, NOT just who the priest says He is; NOT just who athiests or people that don't like Christians says He is; NOT just who my Pastor says He is but who He says He is. I learned about Him through His Word and through experiencing His overwhelming presence in times of prayer and worship. I learned about His peace and comfort when I was in pain or hurt or when I was troubled by circumstances... I learned about His forgiveness and mercy when I've sinned against Him and others. I learned that He is just! He will correct me and those that need correction in His timing, NOT mine. We learned that He performs miracles through the healing and reconciliation of our marriage. We learned about His divine plan for our family when each birth of a child coincided with a specific season of our lives. We learned about His provision when we couldn't find employment in our area and yet never missed a mortgage payment or went hungry. We learned about His love through the people that He sent our way to encourage us, guide us, teach us, challenge us and just plainly love us.

 

So even though we are entering again a season of uncertainty and we know that wherever the Lord lead us or whatever He allows in our lives;

 

 He is with us.

He will help us.

He will NOT forsake us.

He will finish the work that He started in our lives. 

 

 

And here's a scripture that I've had posted in our office bulletin board for years now...

 

"Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged by the size of the task, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the Lord is finished correctly." 1 Chronicles 28:20

 

So think of what God has been trying to get your attention with... in your reading, through people around you, through what you are watching, through your circumstances.  Is He trying to get your attention? What has He been speaking to you about lately??

 



God provides in ways that are simply amazing!!

How God provided the funds for a wedding that was to take place in 2 weeks!!

Here's the scenario: We were having a skype pre-engagement counseling with our 19 year old daughter and her boyfriend and we give them both a thorough account of what it's like to get married young and be in the military...and the difficulties of both. After 2 hours of counseling, Kylie and Parker continue to skype and in 30 minutes, our daughter comes out of the other room to tell us that her boyfriend of less than one month (there's a story there... she will have to write about their story soon) wants to marry her next week in California... we live in Ohio... OK not going to happen... Jason is the interim lead pastor right now which means he has a lot on his plate and we also have a previously scheduled Young Adults Conference that weekend they were looking to marry... we can't just take off from our responsibilities to attend this impromptu wedding that they want to have NEXT week. In addition, we have two little children to think of and did I mention, NO MONEY for plane tickets for a whole family (we have a credit card that we don't use unless it's an emergency but this does not constitute "emergency"). So Kylie lets Parker know that if he wants to marry her now, it would have to be in Ohio so her parents and siblings can actually attend... Jason and I were thinking Parker will realized that this is crazy and too soon... I'm sure he will opt to wait at least until after Navy Bootcamp (November) Ah...nope... he says ok!! So we plan for a wedding two weeks from that night. What do I do?? I look at the savings account which does not have enough in it for a wedding (which in research I've seen costing anywhere from $10000-$25000)... or even a small wedding ($5000-$10000). So I go into my "wedding coordinator" mode OR should I say my obsessive, resourceful, pyscho mode and begin researching for venue, decorations, etc... within our funds ($1000 - which is supposed to be for my new dishwasher and Uhaul truck for when we relocate back to MD when that time comes) and see what we can afford! Hmmm a wedding for $1000 or less... sounds do-able, right??? Yup, it sure was... well it was over $1000, it was $1553.10 exact total!! BUT God provided in sooo many ways and through sooo many people!! I am still completely amazed how it all happened!! Here's the breakdown!!

$300 - An unexpected blessing
$150 - Another unexpected blessing
$100 - And another unexpected blessing
$100 - And yet another unexpected blessing

$650 total blessings + our $1000 savings = $1650 Wedding Budget

We spent $1553.10

Here are some of the other blessings:

 

A friend of ours opened her home for a "girls night out/bachelorette party" for Kylie. And that same friend knew a professional photographer that did Kylie and Parker's wedding ceremony pictures for free because Parker was going into the Navy and she wanted to bless them.



 

Kylie's dress was $105.69 from Alfred Angelo (one of the dresses they had in the back that was not on display because it was "last season's"). It was a blessing but even more so is when a friend from church blessed her with all the alterations to the dress as a wedding gift!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!  The groom, Parker, owned his own tux from his HS band playing days so we didn't have to worry about that!
 



A friend from church, who is a hair dresser, did her hair for the wedding... and since her next client was late, I got my hair done too!! 

 Our friend who is a Mary Kay Consultant and awesome make-up artist did her make-up for free and let her borrow the necklace Kylie wore at the wedding.

Her husband is the worship leader in our church and a friend as well, so he played worship songs for the ceremony.
 

The small ceremony location is at a local park. They have an outdoor Gazebo with benches. Gazebo rental cost $85.
 

The reception site (our church's connection center & cafe) was free because Jason  is on staff there.

 

A friend of ours painted her nails and toes and she is also a budding baker... she baked the wedding cake too!! Another close friend made the "cake topper"... For the Groom, it's the State of California and for the Bride, the State of MD (our home state).  She also made the bridal bouquet shown in the picture below.

 

 

Another friend was in charge of coordinating the reception. Our church family and my mom provided the cookies/desserts/fruit for the small reception after the ceremony.

My mother and my niece came from MD to help and celebrate with us.


Another friend recorded the whole ceremony and made several DVD copies for us. But I can't figure out how to get it from the DVD into this blog....oh well.  And there were many more people that did so many things to help make this wedding possible in 2 weeks... We were extremely blessed beyond words. The only thing I had to really "pay" for was that I had to sleep with the ceremony official to get him to perform the wedding!! LOL...just kiddin', my hubby was the wedding officiant so he was free!! hahaha...

Anyway, it was simply amazing how God blessed us abundantly!! The wedding was absolutely beautiful and it was only made possible by Jesus Christ... working through the love and blessings of our family (our friends, church and blood family)! Thank you everyone!!



Here are some of the professional pics!!

 

 

 

 

 

Dawson's Creek and God's Word...

I know you are probably wondering how I can include a '90s cheesy Teen TV show like Dawson's Creek and God's Word in the same title... well, let me explain in this blog. You know... life is full of blessings including the crappy stuff that happens to you. I've always known this but I forget at times especially when something crappy is happening to me and my family. So what crappy thing is happening?? Let me start with some background stuff about my personality. I seriously think I am bi-polar... no I've never been diagnosed and I don't say this lightly so if anyone is diagnosed bi-polar, please don't be offended but this observation is just my opinion. :) Just watched the Avengers this past Sunday and the best superhero that describes me is the Hulk. I am typically nice, cordial, fun and loving... until I feel threatened... well, more so until I feel that my family is attacked.

As you know, my hubby is a pastor, which means I'm a pastor's wife. Let me just say, when he pursued this "career", I told him right upfront that I don't think I'd would be a good pastor's wife. I wear my emotions on my sleeve meaning I can't hide my feelings about something (hurt, upset, mad, sad, etc...) and I tend to be quick tempered, blunt and transparent with my thoughts and opinions.

These personality/characteristic traits ARE NOT part of the fruit of the spirit listed in Galatians 5:22 "But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodnes, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."

Anyway, Jason just preached about being a life long learner of Christ and His Word and ways. And that in everything there is a lesson Christ is trying to teach us. And after His teaching, we will always be tested. But if we don't see or learn that lesson by doing well during the test, we will keep re-taking that test. Story of my life... I tend to re-take tests especially in dealing with people that try to hurt someone in my family by their words or lies. My "hulk" tendencies come out when people twist scenarios to play victim or to shift blame onto my family to satisfy their own purposes.

In the last few months, we've experienced more of these tests. I swear, you'd think I'd learn how to respond from the last time but I am stubborn and seem to forget that it's a test.  As most of you know, I'm a passionate woman. If I have an opinion, I will share them with you passionately. If you speak ill of my family or myself, I will ask you why do you feel that way or if you are talking about us behind our back, best be assured, I will ask you why you didn't come speak to us first. I understand we all share our feelings w/ others (gossip... guilty of this so I understand) but then if you are caught, please don't try to "LIE" to my face about it. One thing I'm not is stupid. 

So here we are... how does all this relate to Dawson's Creek?? In one episode, a main character, Andi, had to eulogize someone, Abby, that was super mean and did everything in her being to be a jerk to others while she was alive. Abby made Andi's life in HS a living hell, but her parents never knew how mean their daughter was to Andi so they asked her to speak at Abby's funeral. During the eulogy, Andi thanked Abby for being the person in her life that challenged her and how Abby was a blessing to her. Andi thanked her for being the person that pushed her to rely on the strength that she had in her to keep going regardless of the pain. For forcing her to find peace, comfort and grace to move on. Abby helped Andi grow as a person. This is all good and all but it's a TV show!! How many people do we know that have responded the same way but still carry the hurt, baggage and trauma of what happened in their lives?? They may appear that they've moved on but their attitude or defensive walls are very much all there and are visible in how they live their lives and how they treat others or respond to others.

So onto God's Word, I was reminded that:

"He is the Lord; let him do what is good in his eyes." 1 Samuel 3:18.

 

"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me." Psalm 138:8

I know this to be true, yet I kept forgetting because I was relying on my "inner" strength and abilities to defend myself and my family.

Today, while reading Streams in the Desert devotional, this is what it said.

"If I see God in everything, He will calm and color everything I see... Seeing God in everything is the only thing that will make me loving and patient with people who annoy and trouble me. Then I will see others as the instruments God uses to accomplish His tender and wise purpose for me, and I will even find myself inwardly thanking them for the blessing they have become to me. Nothing but seeing God will completely put an end to all (my) complaining and thought of rebellion (defense)." I added the words in the blue parenthesis... LOL.

God is JUST. The truth will always come out and more importantly, His truth will always prevail. I need not to fret, defend, be angry or bitter. He knows my heart and my motives. He knows what my family is all about and our desire to love and disciple others so we will just keep our eyes on You, Jesus and what we've been called to do.

And so I am thankful for the people that hate, twist our words, run their mouths, disrespect and are rude to our family. Your actions/words remind me to continue to put all my faith in Christ alone... You are helping me to draw nearer to Christ... to worship him and to seek His face for patience, grace and love so I may be able to do the same for you because on my own, I seriously can't. Praising God for all circumstances!!

"A man of quick temper acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated." Proverbs 14:17

 

"Understand this,my dear brothers and sisters: you must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires." James 1:19-20

 

"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." Romans 12:19

 

And with God's help, here is what I pray to be as I draw nearer to Him.

 

           

       



Lights, camera....

As I mentioned previously, our oldest daughter recently married... but that's not all the changes happening in Team Raynes. We are in the middle of transition. Jason is the interim Lead Pastor for our church in Boardman OH until they find a permanent one. And we, as a family, are looking to move back to the DMV (DC, Maryland, Virginia) area, where both of our families currently live. We are waiting on God's provision (employment & place to live). In the mean time, we are doing our part of preparing for this move... applying for jobs and creating a plan for the vision that God has given us as to the purpose of this move.

And this past Friday, as we were shooting a video for the work that we are going to do while we are the DMV area, I found out that I'm not great at being in front of the camera with a script. hahaha... I think it was because there was a script that I had to follow rather than speaking as myself. I wasn't free to be me. I had to be "camera" Frances. We took sooo many "takes" and in between were a lot of laughter and "passionate" dialogue exchanges with Jason. LOL!!  I realized through this process that I like "me", the crazy, passionate and sometimes weird self. And I like the way I communicate even if it doesn't mean looking professional on camera. I like who God is molding me into and it's a woman, bold and confident in Him and I can only be that way when I am free to be me, uniquely designed and formed by the Creator of the Universe. 

Growing up, I've always performed and wanted to perform for an audience. In my elementary school days, I took dance lessons and put on dance performances for our families during parties. As I grew older in my teen years, I became more and more timid and didn't want to perform as much and I really didn't know why. I guess I feared not doing well, not fitting in with the crowd, or being criticized for my performances. I focused on what others may think of me rather than do what I enjoy doing. Oh how I wish, I didn't waste time worrying about what people thought or were going to think of me and just enjoyed myself when I wanted to. For example, I LOVED dancing but I waited until the end of my junior year in HS to tryout for the Pom Pom squad!!! I should have been on the squad all 4 years... sigh!!!

Anyway, going back to the point of this blog... changes... we are in the midst of change but in a holding pattern. No next step in sight... just waiting for the job, waiting for that door to open, waiting for God's provision. But until then, I will just have to be "me".

His Word... my refuge

I wanted to do something different for today's blog... one of the blog's I follow did a grateful blog and I think that's a great example to follow. I am thankful for God's Word that teaches, encourages and challenges me. Here are a few of my faves...

During the very low moments of my life, only His Words kept me "alive" in Him... here are some of those precious Words.

"Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine." Isaiah 43:1-3

Right after our intense rebuilding of our marriage, my spiritual mom gave me this verse:

"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. The wild animals in the fields will thank me, the jackals and owls, too, for giving them water in the desert. Yes, I will make rivers in the dry wasteland so my chosen people can be refreshed. I have made Israel for myself, and they will someday honor me before the whole world." Isaiah 43:19-21

This one came during one of the very low points in our lives, living in someone else's basement when God asked us to move from MD to OH... no job, no home of our own. As a family, it made our Team cling to Jesus even more so. Without Him, we would have crumbled.

"And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness - secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name!" Isaiah 45:3

When I have no idea what's going on and I simply have no control of the next steps: Proverbs 3:5-6

 

 

During the times, I know I'm not as close to my Jesus as I am... I know I've forgotten to examine myself and see if I am still loving Him as much as I should be:

 

"Search me, O God, and know my heart, test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Psalm 139:23-24

 

 

 

At times attacks.. be it from people, poor health, financial troubles... I remind myself:

 

"Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God's armor so that  you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities for the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavely places." Ephesians 6:10-12

• I know His Truth through His Word 
• I have peace in Him
• I place my faith and trust in Him alone
• I am righteous in His eyes only because of the death of Christ on the cross.
• I have salvation because of that same death and resurrection

 

In the Navy... the good and bad of reminiscing.

Our son-in-law, Parker is headed to the Navy Basic Training (bootcamp) in Great Lakes Michigan on Tuesday, Sept. 4. This change in his life brings back a lot of memories and emotions for me. Actually, it even caused Jason and I to have a "passionate" discussion about it the other night! hahaha.  Anyway, Parker leaving brought back those anxious feelings that I used to feel when Jason would leave me while he was in the Navy. He would go out to sea for 2 weeks at a time, 3 months, or 4 days and of course the dreaded 6 month cruise that his ship would go out on. I only had to do the 6 month cruise once... Praise God!! Oh ya, did I mention, he was assigned to the USS Enterprise Carrier, the same ship, Tom Cruise's movie Top Gun was filmed on :).

As a previous young Navy wife, I've seen a lot of how NOT to handle this separation between couples. I have seen wives happy that their husbands are leaving so they can do whatever they want. I've seen wives be a basket case and do absolutely nothing on their own. I've heard of wives not take care of anything... bills, home, children, etc... simply because they didn't care or not know how. But I also know of many wives that stayed strong, faithful and led very fulfilling lives while their sailors were away. I did exactly all of those above. I made a couple of good girlfriends so we hung out a lot together. We stayed in and watched movies, we took the kids out, visited families, paid bills, clean our homes, worked out in the gym, went to college, and on occasions (ok maybe more), went to clubs to party... Ok, I know... I know, I'm a pastor's wife... but to remind you all, I wasn't always one. hahaha. Thinking about it all now, it made me realize that I had to really grow up quickly.  I had to be brave and strong for our little daughter since it was just the two of us always. I had to be ready to protect her if anyone broke into our home. I had to drive us at night to places I had no idea how to get to (I'm so directionally and map challenge). I had to make decisions about her health, schooling, our finances, etc... I had to get our car fixed when I don't even have any idea what a muffler was at that time. I had to be stern in saying "no" to tempation... because there were tons that came especially when you were lonely and insecure. Seriously, I have no idea how I survived without Jason. You see, I've never really been alone. I left my home only to marry Jason and so I've never had to learn how to cook, clean, and be independent!

These were some of the thoughts that came to mind for Jason and I during the time Kylie was preparing to marry Parker and we knew she would become a Navy wife and that it was a very difficult life to live. I had no idea what I was doing at 19 years old. how the heck is she going to do this? I'm a more "go get 'em" type of person, a determined and persistent woman... while Kylie is... not. She is more laid back, a "wait & see" type of woman and a "I'm processing my feelings & thoughts" type of person.  Well, YOU don't have time to think and process stuff... you just need to think and make a decision asap... and do something. There are sooo many details that I needed to balance and think about as a Navy wife and "single" mom at times. How in the world is she gonna survive?? I've pretty much done everything for her (which I do not recommend to any parent). She doesn't usually plan ahead or with details. How is she going to be a Navy wife and take care of things while her husband is away??

Well, actually, I do know... the same way, I did... with Jesus' help!!  He was there even before I knew Him personally. I prayed every night to a God that I know in my heart existed but didn't love, worship or serve. I prayed because I simply didn't know who else to turn to. I asked Him for our protection! I asked Him to help me get to one place to another. I asked Him to help me with balancing time w/ my daughter and getting my school work done. I asked Him to give me peace when I would cry myself to sleep in fear of being alone. I would ask Him to protect us from a hurricane that everyone was preparing for and I had no idea what to do except lay on the floor while my toddler was in the bathroom tub covered by the crib mattress. It has always been Him carrying me through all those scary, difficult times.

There is no need for me to worry. Kylie has a personal relationship with Jesus. She knows who her God is and the miracle that He is capable of doing. She is in a better position I was at her age. She has a community of believers that will and are praying for her and Parker. She has parents that know exactly what she and Parker are going to face and go through. We have friends that are currently serving in the Navy that she can talk to or simply pray with if she wants. Parker has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as well. He is in a better place as a man than Jason was at his age. And what a blessing, Parker has a father-in-law that knows the environment that he will find himself walking through as a Christ follower. Jason will be able to guide and pray with and for him during the times of separation from his wife. He will have an accountability person if he so chooses to help him stay walking with Jesus and faithful to his wife. And Kylie would have the same exact thing for her. Initially, everything they were doing were eerily similar to our story and it brought back fear and anxious thoughts. But then I realized, the big difference with Parker and Kylie's story is that it is has JESUS right from the beginning. He is the center of it and He is #1 in both of their hearts. He will get them through the good and bad times... And because He is the God they serve, they will be bless.

Please keep Team Fallon (Parker & Kylie) in prayer as they begin this chapter of their journey together.