As a previous young Navy wife, I've seen a lot of how NOT to handle this separation between couples. I have seen wives happy that their husbands are leaving so they can do whatever they want. I've seen wives be a basket case and do absolutely nothing on their own. I've heard of wives not take care of anything... bills, home, children, etc... simply because they didn't care or not know how. But I also know of many wives that stayed strong, faithful and led very fulfilling lives while their sailors were away. I did exactly all of those above. I made a couple of good girlfriends so we hung out a lot together. We stayed in and watched movies, we took the kids out, visited families, paid bills, clean our homes, worked out in the gym, went to college, and on occasions (ok maybe more), went to clubs to party... Ok, I know... I know, I'm a pastor's wife... but to remind you all, I wasn't always one. hahaha. Thinking about it all now, it made me realize that I had to really grow up quickly. I had to be brave and strong for our little daughter since it was just the two of us always. I had to be ready to protect her if anyone broke into our home. I had to drive us at night to places I had no idea how to get to (I'm so directionally and map challenge). I had to make decisions about her health, schooling, our finances, etc... I had to get our car fixed when I don't even have any idea what a muffler was at that time. I had to be stern in saying "no" to tempation... because there were tons that came especially when you were lonely and insecure. Seriously, I have no idea how I survived without Jason. You see, I've never really been alone. I left my home only to marry Jason and so I've never had to learn how to cook, clean, and be independent!
These were some of the thoughts that came to mind for Jason and I during the time Kylie was preparing to marry Parker and we knew she would become a Navy wife and that it was a very difficult life to live. I had no idea what I was doing at 19 years old. how the heck is she going to do this? I'm a more "go get 'em" type of person, a determined and persistent woman... while Kylie is... not. She is more laid back, a "wait & see" type of woman and a "I'm processing my feelings & thoughts" type of person. Well, YOU don't have time to think and process stuff... you just need to think and make a decision asap... and do something. There are sooo many details that I needed to balance and think about as a Navy wife and "single" mom at times. How in the world is she gonna survive?? I've pretty much done everything for her (which I do not recommend to any parent). She doesn't usually plan ahead or with details. How is she going to be a Navy wife and take care of things while her husband is away??
Well, actually, I do know... the same way, I did... with Jesus' help!! He was there even before I knew Him personally. I prayed every night to a God that I know in my heart existed but didn't love, worship or serve. I prayed because I simply didn't know who else to turn to. I asked Him for our protection! I asked Him to help me get to one place to another. I asked Him to help me with balancing time w/ my daughter and getting my school work done. I asked Him to give me peace when I would cry myself to sleep in fear of being alone. I would ask Him to protect us from a hurricane that everyone was preparing for and I had no idea what to do except lay on the floor while my toddler was in the bathroom tub covered by the crib mattress. It has always been Him carrying me through all those scary, difficult times.
There is no need for me to worry. Kylie has a personal relationship with Jesus. She knows who her God is and the miracle that He is capable of doing. She is in a better position I was at her age. She has a community of believers that will and are praying for her and Parker. She has parents that know exactly what she and Parker are going to face and go through. We have friends that are currently serving in the Navy that she can talk to or simply pray with if she wants. Parker has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as well. He is in a better place as a man than Jason was at his age. And what a blessing, Parker has a father-in-law that knows the environment that he will find himself walking through as a Christ follower. Jason will be able to guide and pray with and for him during the times of separation from his wife. He will have an accountability person if he so chooses to help him stay walking with Jesus and faithful to his wife. And Kylie would have the same exact thing for her. Initially, everything they were doing were eerily similar to our story and it brought back fear and anxious thoughts. But then I realized, the big difference with Parker and Kylie's story is that it is has JESUS right from the beginning. He is the center of it and He is #1 in both of their hearts. He will get them through the good and bad times... And because He is the God they serve, they will be bless.
Please keep Team Fallon (Parker & Kylie) in prayer as they begin this chapter of their journey together.
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